Secret Santa

Secret Santa. Basically, I have three words to say to you. Count. Me. Out.

Now, before I get labelled as a miser for not joining in, I need to explain that I quit buying Christmas presents years ago and I have never felt so liberated. Secret Santa falls into this category. I quit for the sake of my sanity. I hated the debacle of having to traipse round the shops, stress over what to get and then have to find a way of delivering it before the 'big day'. Now, I can enjoy December as it should be enjoyed, catching up with friends and having fun.

My experience of receiving Secret Santa gifts has ranged from a bland - "Oh" or "What the hell?" to "What am I going to do with this?" Never have I received something and thought "Great".

I know the premise of Secret Santa is to have a laugh and it's a joke for a nominal cost, but I don't need the hassle and would rather spend the money on myself.

For those not familiar with the concept, it goes a little something like this. Usually, Secret Santa is conducted in the workplace. You pull a name out of a (plastic) bag and then the problem starts. Your heart sinks. It's not the name you hoped for. It is for someone you barely know, for the sake of the story, let's call him Greg from Finance. This is going to be hard. Greg doesn't even look you in the eye when you're in the staff kitchen together and now you're committed to getting this man a present!

It's only a £5.00 limit and whilst it is classed as nominal, it can sometimes be harder than if it was £50.00. A headache whichever way you look at it.

So after you get over the resentment, then starts the research. The sneaky, and you hope discreet, questions to find out what Greg likes, begins by asking those that may know him. Of course, Greg doesn't like anything conventional or would appreciate something you can buy from Tesco or the petrol station to give you an easy life. No, why would he? Greg it seems likes white water rafting and bonsai trees. Well, I'm not scouring Amazon to find something connected with either of these things so he can some craft beer and that will do. So what was the point in all of that?

There are different avenues of approach to Secret Santa. There are those that will get any old rubbish just to fulfil the obligation. So you could end up with a cheap, banal bath gel set that will have you spending your Boxing Day wondering where you can buy Canesten from after having a bad reaction from it. Or you could end up with some tat where someone is trying to be 'funny'. In my case, I know I'd end up with some Harry Potter rubbish, as people know I hate HP and it would be their bid to try and be humorous. In turn I would palm it off on my 9 year old Goddaughter. What a waste.

I've read articles about Secret Santa experiences and it's horrifying what people think is acceptable. Aside from the obvious re-gifting of things, there are accounts of people receiving chlamydia leaflets, pregnancy tests and a 3 pack of Ferrero Rocher with one missing!!!

One of my friends worked for a council affiliated organisation and one year, they did Secret Santa and one of her female colleagues received a razor! To say she was offended was an understatement. So the following year, they appointed a Mediator who checked all the gifts before they were handed out. Talk about draining the fun out it!

So, hopefully, you can now see that I am not being a miser, I'm just saving myself from stress and disappointment. Tell you what, you can have my presence not my presents!

Seeing as Greg still won't look me in the eye, I'll never know if he enjoyed his craft beer, but at least now I don't have to worry him or his bonsai tree obsession and I will certainly enjoy a stress-free December all the more! Cheers to that!

* Image sourced via Shutterstock